bite-sized dreams

single or double?

2011-09-28T23:23:00.009-05:00

Recently I learned that it is an unspoken rule that as an adult I'm not supposed to double knot my tennis shoes anymore. Uhh... How would I know that? Is there something in the second knot of a shoe that screams "I"m still not an adult!" Or is this a practice that was supposed to disappear when I stopped wearing my tennis shoes?

Well, sorry to break it to them, whoever they are, but I still wear tennis shoes; they are bright blue. AND I still double knot them.

There are so many things in this life that I recently have been discovering are pathways to adulthood, but I'm not so sure I want to travel down that path as so many before me have. I'm not sayng I don't want to be an adult (or that I'm not an adult), but rather that the connotations connected with this process of growing up are bleak and shallow, and I don't want to have any part in it.

Working with preschoolers has given me a unique perspective into the lives of 3-5 year olds and the ways in which their brains function. It's incredible, really. With so many students facing the harshest realities of life - famliy deportations, poverty, hunger, homelessness, violence and abuse - you'd expect every 4 year old I come across to have a broken spirit plagued by depression. I'm not saying they're not affected (what else could explain the 10+ referrals I have already had to make this year to have my students screened for educational delays?) Yet, the child's spirit sees beyond the tough stuff.

One of the most beautiful moments in my life, which thankfully is repeated day in and day out, is when I get to see a child truly enjoying playtime. Chattering away to their friends and "cooking" up a storm of plastic play foods, or building a block tower the size of the Foshay, these kids are experiencing just that - being kids.

I'd say we have a great model to follow. To truly be carefree, living out of freedom is a rare privilege, especially for us fuddy duddy adults. Why? What happened along the way to taint our view on life and make us stop playing? What was it that made us feel stupid about standing in a public place and belting out "The Wheels on the Bus" at the top of our lungs? We call it "maturity" but let's be sure we're not jus re-labeling fear, or social expectations, or just plain apathy towards life.

As for me, I will continue to wear my bright blue ROOS and jump up and down like a frog in them, as well as double knot them, because I am following the best examples I know. I hope you get a chance to unabashedly play today.

back to school sales already?

2011-08-06T20:24:00.003-05:00

Ok, it's been too long. It's been all summer - almost.

Where to begin?

I joined a soccer team (as you know from my last post) and it was probably the best part of my summer. Me, an awkwardly tall (comparably), noticeably white girl on a Latina women's team, speaking Spanglish and taking shots on the goal (that never went in). We may have lost every game this season (except one where the other team didn't show up) but gosh darnit, we had fun! Saturday night practices at the park, chillaxin' with sweat rolling down the face for hours until the sun went down, teasing each other and feeling like the part of a much larger family... it was definitely a great season. We have one game left next week and then a major fiesta until next season.

My grandma's memorial service and funeral happened a few weekends ago and it was a memorable event just for the fact that our entire family got to be together (save a few cousins) and we got to say goodbye to Grandma properly. Honestly, it was sad, but not nearly as sad as the past few years had been visitng her at the nursing home. She was ready to go at the ripe old age of 93 and had lived a very full life. She had passed away months ago, but we delayed the event until (mostly) everyone could come. I appreciated seeing the whole family, as quirky as we are, and catching up with cousins who had recently gotten married and had babies! Life changes so quickly!

School was difficult this summer. Partly because of the classes, but mostly because it was the summertime. My design class was INCREDIBLE and has inspired me to go further, but the other two had a lot more homework than I was willing to complete on my late sunset summer evenings. With that, I have decided that one class this fall is sufficient. I did find my new favorite professor, however, which was a blessing on those nights I did not want to be in class for another moment.

Currently I am visiting my family in Texas. I love them. I love how crazy things can get with four children under seven, and yet I love all of the sweet moments that happen in-between. I have had the privilege of seeing many relationships in action this summer, and I admire them all. I've decided it's a task to have a family, but a task well worth it.

Ch-ch-ch-changes have been happening all around me. People getting married, engaged, or having babies. Others deciding to pursue lifelong dreams and transitioning to a new life. Others just changing an attitude or way they do things. It's been good. And hard. Hard to face a summer which looked much different (pace-wise) than last summer.

But. God is still good, and I am trusting in His promises. Because He said I could. So that's me. I hope you are well too.

la liga espanola

2011-06-11T22:27:00.006-05:00

The call came around 6:30 - Kel's boyfriend was sick and wouldn't be able to have us over for dinner afterall. So, what did we do instead? We went for a summer evening walk! Our neighborhood is a beautiful place to walk. The old trees sway in the breeze, people are out on almost every street playing with their kids, walking their dogs, or running, while others are playing soccer in the park.

As we rounded the park, my attention rested upon one fact - the soccer players were not the usual crowd, it was a bunch of women! Even better, it was a bunch of women my age speaking Spanish! Needless to say, I got very excited. In our park we usually encounter two specific crowds: the children who play soccer on Sundays, or the men (also speaking Spanish) playing some in-tense soccer. But no, this time was special. This time it was MY crowd.

As we drew closer to the group, my roommate said, "Go talk to them!" She knew I had been praying for opportunities to use more of my Spanish (especially in the summer when I'm away from my work families) as well as a place to play some soccer (which I once played, but haven't since 9th grade). So I said, "I don't know... I don't like talking to strangers," and she responded, "If not now, when? God's given you an opportunity, use it!" With her gentle prodding, I did. I went up to a elderly women sitting on the sidelines and asked her (in Spanish) "Is this a women's league?" And with that, my magical night began.

I spoke with one of the players who brought over the coach and he said, "Do you live close? Do you have shoes?" That was all I needed. Kel and I powerwalked back to our house, I threw on my running shoes, a YW shirt, and her basketball shorts, and was back just in time for the scrimmage. As the game started (I was on the losing side, but who's keeping track?) I felt exhilarated. Not only was I in my zone, speaking Spanish, but I was playing soccer in my neighborhood park! I was where I had always dreamed of being when I moved to the city, I was finally there! Halfway through the scrimmage, the coach came over to me to tell me I was 'officially' on the team. I would be welcomed back for the game tomorrow. I told him I couldn't come tomorrow, but next week I would be there for practice AND the game.

As the game wrapped up and I said goodbye to the few new friends I had made, I had the hugest smile on my face. God's timing is perfect and He DOES hear our heart!

SO GOOD So So Good to me! ;)

happy is the heart that still feels pain

2011-06-06T14:56:00.009-05:00

All right, so maybe my blog tends to be a bit schizophrenic in its layout and title, but, believe it or not it is for a reason. Life changes. Therefore, my account of life (which has been lacking lately, I admit) will also change. A lot.

What do 'bite-sized dreams' have to do with it, you ask? In my mind, our lives are made up of a web of inseparable but individual dreams, goals, ideas. It's easy to forget these dreams. To move on in the routine of life without the acknowledgement that it is good to dream. I don't want to do that. I don't want to ever give up on the dreams God has placed inside my head or on my life path. He is good and He wants the best for our lives, yet if we fail to open our eyes to the possibilities we will shrivel up like a beautiful flower that goes without water and eventually dies. Let's not do that. Let's embrace God's goodness in our lives and move forward in hope and expectation, continuing to bloom and grow in the process.

With that said, some sorrow will come along the way. That's ok. As Ingrid Michaelson says, "happy is the heart that still feels pain." At the end of this life of mine, I want to be able to say I lived it fully - all the good and bad rolled into a rich and beautiful history.

On that note, I've decided to take the summer off from my job. Working at a school, this is a valid option for healthy recovery and preparation and I'm excited to see what's in store for my summer. I know that before I realize it my summer will be over and I will be back at school with my precious preschoolers. Until then, I will be doing homework for three carefully chosen classes - Typography, Second Language Acquistion, and Linguistics, attending various conferences and trainings, and possibly visiting relatives in the deep south. Can't wait!

Hopefully I can keep this blog a bit more updated in the process!

alternate ending

2011-04-23T00:06:00.004-05:00

Easter. The only holiday that changes everything. We all have holidays, but Easter is the one that defines what Christians are all about. Without Easter, there would be no Christians.

It reminds me of the time my mom and I went to the play "Godspell" when I was in High School. The play was great, professionally acted and sung, edgy set and props, and an all around high class theater experience. But when they got to the end of the play there was one flaw - in the final song, after the main character was crucified, they carried him around on their shoulders. All across the stage he sat there, limp as an empty banana peel, while they sang about the end. He never woke up, never came to. He was dead. The curtain fell, and it was all over. What a disappointment.

What if real life were like that? What if Jesus never came to, never changed the course of history by returning to life? What a useless existence we would live. A sad, depressing, monotonous routine filled with sorrow and pain.

Good thing that's not how it ended.

Good thing He came back, resurrected, gave us a new hope.

I for one am ready to celebrate Easter, how about you?

things to look forward to in the days to come

2011-03-30T10:34:00.003-05:00

1. Visiting my new niece, Willow Neri, born March 21st

2. Seeing my Texan sister-in-law and niece, Annika, who will be visiting the new baby with me :)

3. Not working this summer. I'm really hoping I have the summer off, but due to the nature of my job, I still don't know...

4. Summer with the roomies. My roommates and I have come up with a giant list of things we want to do in our city in the summer. Currently we are at 43. This will be our first summer all in the same city.

5. Family reunion. Gathering around the celebration of my grandma's life, Iowa + Texas + Minnesota come together to enjoy being a family, can't wait. This year we're up to 12 people!

6. New classes. I'm loving my current classes, but golly, sociolinguistics is HARD!

That's just a start. What are YOU looking forward to?

2011-03-07T22:41:00.009-06:00

Every so often the travel bug bites. Maybe it's the super long winter we're experiencing. Maybe it's the fact that I have not been out of the country since I got back from Guatemala... that's a whopping 16 months! Maybe it's the transitional nature of my life stage right now. Maybe it's the fact that suddenly everyone in my life stage seems to have a boyfriend!

Whatever it is, I am getting excited for the future ahead. I don't know what it holds at this point, but after listening to the very inspiring sermon of my good friend Avivah this weekend, I got fired up again. God has got good things in store, and He is calling us to pray and fast in joyful expectation. Somewhere this winter I lost part of my drive. School was bogging me down, work was routine, and life was busy. I am hoping this Spring gives me a chance to step back and re-examine what God is doing in my life.

I was blessed to have a chance to get away for a weekend retreat just a few weeks ago, and I was amazed at the need that time away fulilled. There's nothing quite like being holed up in a beautiful, snowy cabin all weekend with just you and God. Granted, the space was luxurious, but in addition, God really showed up.

I got time to study the Word, read, pray, journal, sketch, and cook. It was fantastic. I recommend it for anyone getting frazzled by the city or having trouble hearing God's voice. My old camp director used to take personal silence retreats every year. I never understood the benefit until I went on my own!

Other than these random highlights, I am looking forward to being an auntie again within this month! Two wonderful ladies and I got to travel down south and celebrate the preparations for this little one, due March 23. It was an absolute blast.

from here to there

2011-02-07T22:44:00.004-06:00

My job requires a lot of me. Not playing the "woe is me card" by any means, my job is involved. I have the privilege of entering the houses of the families I work with and seeing them on a regular basis. I get to work with them through the challenges of crises, the bad days and good days, the "I just don't want to get out of bed so I'm going to cancel our visit" days, tender loving days, the single mom and thriving days, the play with dad days, the single mom and struggling days, the dysfunctional family days, the "yes, I just fed my child McDonald's and I'm not proud of it" days, the sick and stay at home days, the bouncing off the walls days, and the "help!" days, just to name a few. Getting into my car tonight after a full day of work made me realize something much more superficial - I stink! Not me, per se, but going around to many different houses in all types of settings can really make you pick up some scents. This is not the fresh brewed coffee smell, unfortunately, but it is a humble and homely smell comprised of dignity, including:

Frankincense
Mold
Fire
Cigarettes
Wet
Cold
Fresh Pancakes
Olive Oil
Deep Fry
Rice
Farts
Musty
Chai
Smoke
Tortillas
Dirt
Bugs
Laundry
Spice
Stale
Sweat
Smelly Feet
Ammonia
Bleach
Vacuum
Old House
Old Food
Milk
Baby Food

All in all, I come home with a plethora of options. It may be stinky, but I love my job.

culture vagabond

2011-01-20T15:46:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I call myself a culture vagabond. Why is this? As far back as I can remember, I have loved everything about cultures, people, traditions, languages, and the list goes on.

Starting in ninth grade I started learning a second language - and I haven't stopped since! Spanish has become a part of my being, another extension of me and it's true that I feel like I am serving God when I am given the chance to use that gift He has given me. I dove right into the culture as a teenager - fiestas, bright colors, upbeat music, passionate relationships, strength of words. While the stereotypical Spanish was taught to me at school, I was given a chance to experience the real thing in my travels to Spain, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Panama, Costa Rica, Belice. What a thrill!

Today I get to use my Spanish every day and sometimes I catch myself thinking, oh yeah, this is not my native language... how did this happen? Within my younger years I believe I clung to Spanish as a form of surrogate culture. I wanted to be Latina, to experience life through the eyes of someone not from suburban, White America. Now having experienced a bit of life, I see things differently.

I still love the Latin culture, but I now know the intrinsic value that my home culture has brought to my life, and I am still discovering more about appreciating this culture more everyday. I am thankful for the family I grew up in, and even the place I grew up in. I would not trade the mix of experiences I have had for anything.

Continuing on in my journey of cultural exploration, I have recently stumbled upon the Somali culture. Working with many Somalians (as co-workers and as students) has given me the unique advantage to see a different side of culture that many White Americans will never have access to. The exotic sounds, spicy smells (Frankincense), long flowing gowns and scarves, elaborate decorations and friendly demeanor have all entranced me.

I love being a culture vagabond.

BEST OF 2010

2010-12-31T18:16:00.006-06:00

Life throws you curveballs, you learn how to hit them out of the park!
This was a year of hills and valleys, here's a recap of the best moments:

1. Starting Grad school. It's going to be a long journey, but semester one is under my belt. The best part is, I KNOW more with each passing credit that this is where I want to be.

2. Finding a place at church. More so than last year, I feel like Mercy is where I am supposed to be. Co-leading a small group, pitching in as a hospitality worker, and walking to church (almost) every Sunday has been a joy. It's not perfection, but it's a fit!

3. Excellence at work. My job has been increasingly freeing for me. As an independent person, I have been able to excel at the small tasks as well as in serving the families I come in contact with daily. In turn I have been incredibly blessed by those families and their confidence in me.

4. Personal understanding. This has been a year of researching my own temperament and personality. I've enjoyed learning more about being an introvert as well as finding out what healthy boundaries look like. I never knew what I was missing!

5. Becoming auntie, again! Yes, it's true, I now am auntie to a beautiful niece, Annika, and soon-to-be auntie to another baby girl come March. I couldn't be more proud/excited!

6. Growing in relationship. It's been a rough year on some fronts, but fruitful on others. Either way I will admit I've been learning a lot and growing.

Overall, I would say it's been a good year. 2011 looks like a promising one too... all I've got to say is: BRING IT ON!

freedom

2010-12-18T15:35:00.004-06:00

True freedom we take for granted.

I'm not talking about patriotic freedom, although that deserves recognition; nope, I'm talking about living a life unbound, unchained and truly free. It's hard to describe, but I'm talking about the free-falling, no-holds-barred type of lightness one experiences when they realize they are their own person, and make all of their own decisions.

My family will tease me for post, but I've been all about freedom lately. After re-evaluating my life's boundaries, I realized that I was suffering from a lack of freedom and therefore a misrepresentation of what the Gospel really says for normal people like me.

It's easy to be bound. Crazy as that may sound, it's true. As humans we want to help others out, so it's easy to take on other people's responsibilities as our own. It's easy to be negatively affected by the people or situations around you that make you so frustrated, all you want to do is complain. Complaining is the easy thing to do, the way to leak your ill-feelings onto another human being within a close vicinity. But it's dangerous too. It's dangerous, because you assume that once you have spoken your frustration into existence, you will feel better, but you never do. Letting others into your mind when all you see are dark storm clouds only makes it rain harder. By sharing those thoughts you are not letting them go, you are merely spreading them thinner like peanut butter that's been melted in the sun and now everything gets stuck to it.

I don't want to be melted peanut butter. Ha.

When we let the worries and troubles of this world get us down, we only sink lower. When we drop those worries behind us and allow for God to work, we start rising up like a hot air balloon. Little by little, we rise higher into the sky until all we see is the sunrise and blue skies under a expansive, rainbow-colored tarp.

I choose the hot air balloon. I choose freedom.

We are called to be responsible to others, not responsible for them.

legacy

2010-11-14T17:00:00.008-06:00

My grandmother passed away last week. My grandmother, Grandma Viola, or Grandma Vi for short, lived a long and fruitful life. She was 92 when she passed, and I stand in amazement at all the incredible things she had done.

My grandmother was well known in her community in small rural town in Southwestern Minnesota. When we used to visit them on holidays or in the summer, every place we went she and my grandpa were loved. They contributed to their community through art, conversation, family, participation, business, church, and baking. My grandma was the best cook I've ever known, even though a surgery she had left her without tastebuds. She would take one ingredient and make something delicious out of that. Once she made that delicious dish she would continue and use the leftovers the next day for a completely new dish that was just as comforting for the tummy. She loved to play games and always beat me at Rummikub. She loved the Twins and would lovingly participate in the weekly radio broadcasts that my grandpa could be found listening/sleeping to in his well-loved easy chair.

One way my grandma would show her love was through her knitting + quilting needles. Every grandchild received multiple pieces of quilted art at the expense of her fast-working fingers. She would come up with the most intricate patterns and beautiful colors, even though I vaguely remember she was color blind. Her quilts have kept me warm since I was born, and will continue in warmth until I join her someday. Beyond rest, she knitted hats, mittens, and scarves for our family and more. As she grew older her accessories were intentioned for impoverished kids in the Twin Cities who would be suffering through the winter if it were not for her knitted items.

Memories abound of spending time with grandma and grandpa at their sweet, modest house in a friendly little town. We would spend hours in the garden until every weed was gone and every plant looked just right. Of course, as kids, we would just be playing on the lawn not necessarily participating, but they were always there, working hard. I remember mornings waking up to the smell of cooking - even if there was nothing in the oven, it always smelled like something was in the mix - and sitting at the kitchen table watching the birds eat from the feeder. Grandpa was always there to tell me what kind of bird it was. Then there was taffy. Taffy was quite the endeavor, but grandma always lovingly guided us rowdy kids along. Pulled taffy really is pulled taffy - you sit for hours and pull and pull that sugary mixture until it is just the right consistency, then let it harden in an old butter container so you can go out of your mind on a sugar high later. I remember walking into the old toy store (it was tiny) and grandma listening to my whiny voice, asking for everything I saw, and she would still spoil me rotten. I left the store with another stuffed animal that day :) I remember sitting in the park with grandma and grandpa as they sold some of grandpa's prints in the flea market in the park. Really, though, it was more of a leisurely Saturday meet and greet as a few relatives/neighbors/ lifetime friends would stop by for hours of chatting. Stopping by the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum also allowed for a bit of family history as one of grandma's beautiful quilts is still displayed there to this day. Other days we would go to the park where Laura once played and run around all day long, playing on the playground, listening to the adults laughter, dreaming of what life used to be like when Laura was around.

Of course, life changed as it always does and as grandpa's health began to decline, grandma lovingly moved to the cities with him. He was in a full care facility, and she was right next door in a senior living center able to visit him often until the day he passed away. She was very sad to see him go, but she still had quite a bit of Irish kick left in her. She moved to her own senior living center where she was the life of the party. Everyone loved her at the Pines and they looked forward to interacting with her knife-sharp wit everyday. She would come in with a smile on her face and leave with a whole room full of smiles. She was very involved in the local quilting group at her daughter's church, and continued to knit for everyone in the world, even when her vision and hand coordination began to go. She would come our to my parent's house for birthdays, holidays, or just for fun and sit for hours at the table thinking, listening, talking, with the dog at peace on her lap. Her smile mesmerized me. She was missing a tooth right in front and seemed to be quite self concious about this until she reached an age when she just didn't care - years gone by had gained her the privilege to be graceful even with a tooth missing. Her laugh was contagious and even now I hear her mannerisms in my father's speech and actions. She was a beautiful soul.

At 90 she celebrated her birthday far and wide, but soon after her mental health began to go downhill. She quickly became confused and was moved to a nursing home. Her good, Irish blood would not quit for another 2 years, however, which leads to this post I am writing today. Grandma Vi was a wonderful woman. As harsh and strict as any good Irish woman married to a German rule maker, but loving and joyous down to the core.

I sure am going to miss that woman.

God's way is not my way

2010-10-29T23:55:00.003-05:00

Sitting here waiting for my NyQuil to jump in and smash out my persistent cold, I realize that life sure is a funny thing. Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would be in this place, living a mere 30 minutes from my hometown and loving it.

I have been incredibly blessed with a family of friends who have come to love and accept me for who I am even when I am being weird, quiet, secretive, or judgemental. How did I arrive here? How do any of us arrive here? How could it be that I love my job, love my friend community, love my church, love living so close to my parents, and am still being challenged to thrive everyday? I'm amazed.

Yet the road to get here was a long and unexpected one. God never lets us live life the way we think we should. It's when you're not looking that He blesses you the most! Coming back home and not getting the job I wanted led me to a career field I had never before explored in such depth: education. Living at home and struggling with mild depression will lead one to take the first job that comes along - thankfully the first one that came my way was also the best option for me by far. Using my Spanish, community-building, interpersonal skills, child and youth experience, and desire to change lives was a dream I didn't think could happen right away, but it did. I asked for a specific job, and God gave me a specifically different one.

Living with my roommates was a process of growing pains that still make me kind of embarassed to remember. Never before had I lived on my own in such a capacity - Pay for the heating? What? How does that even work? Welcome to the City. The City is a different, beautiful, new world. A world of diversity in every form of the word, struggle, joy, disarray, celebration, abandonment, and hope. A place of uniquely fragile beauty. My roommates took the time and grace to introduce me to the city, and I will never be the same. I did not fully want to be transformed, but thankfully God had other plans for my life.

Today, God still throws curveballs at me daily. I'm learning to leave behind my expectations because they are probably going to be wrong either way. Who can we call a new roommate? An aquaintance I went to college with! What happens when you don't have a date for quite sometime? You learn to fix things around the house yourself (yes I am the resident handywoman, just ask my roommates). How do you love on your community? By giving back. A + B does not equal C in God's plan, and I'm learning to be okay with that. The bottom line is that He is good and has my desires at heart. He is faithful and has got a blessing with MY name on it. What a joy to live in that freedom today!

I think my NyQuil just kicked in... nite! Oh, and I hope you enjoy the new design and title. I decided to go for a bit more simplicity :)

houston, we have a niece...

2010-08-19T18:00:00.004-05:00

I just returned from a quick trip to Houston and wanted to share pics of the latest family addition, she's so precious!!!

And, of course, the boys were as fun as ever...What a great trip! I am thankful for such a beautiful family.

a new hope

2010-08-13T15:21:00.006-05:00

This morning I had an opportunity to be a part of something big. Something bigger then me. It was one of those "aha" moments when the world stops and you're able to step outside of a situation and gain some perspective on history in the making. Talk about sweet.

In reality it was a simple meeting. But in my mind, it was a precursor to great things. Great things being the 2012 CCDA conference, to be hosted in my very own MINNEAPOLIS!! This morning some of the brightest and most dedicated ministry leaders from the Twin Cities got together in one room in a little downtown church to discuss the possibility of this conference and let me tell you, it got my heart pumping!

Here's the thing - Christians in America are on the brink of something large. But here's the catch - it's something large that starts in the smallest, most simple ways. Something that's not about us (because it never has been). That thing, in one form of words, is Christian Community Development.

Beyond the fancy title is the reality: our inner-cities are dying from the inside out because who wants to live in a place where violence is rampant, people are suffering from poverty, and the problem seems so big who could ever fix it? But somewhere, out of the stillness and downheartedness of a nation thrown away and forsaken is a group of people dedicated to turning things around. It all started back when Mr. John M. Perkins (social rights activist and founder of CCDA) saw racial inequalities in rural Mississippi and chose to do something positive about it. And it all comes down to this: Jesus transforms lives, from the inside out. When we are grounded in his will, we have hope. HOPE! Not that flaky intangible thing that we hear blasted on Obama commercials, but TRUE hope, founded in a deepness that cannot be fully comprehended by the human mind.

Think about this:
"We live in a world that has lost its appreciation for small things. We live in a world that wants things bigger and bigger...But amid all the supersizing, many of us feel God doing something new, something small and subtle. This thing Jesus called the kingdom of God is emerging across the globe in the most unexpected places, a gentle whisper amid the chaos. Little people with big dreams are re-imagining the world. Little movements of communities of ordinary radicals are committed to doing small things with great love." - Shane Claiborne, Irresistible Revolution

And this love starts wherever YOU are. What would happen if we actually DID the things Jesus asked us to? Would our lives be the same as always, or would this persistent revolution rise up as a force to be reckoned with?

welcome to the world, annika!

2010-08-11T21:42:00.002-05:00

i'm so proud to be showing off my very first niece. isn't she lovely??

Congratulations Kiki & Drew!!!

staying close to home this time...

2010-07-31T21:02:00.015-05:00

Summer is a beautiful time in Minnesota. Who knew the lakes could be so refreshing, children's laughter so musical, the hot breeze actually renewing, and teammates so hilarious?

It's been quite a summer. A time of preparation and challenges, expectation and observation. God has been speaking to my heart on a multitude of issues and I'm excited for the adventures ahead. In the midst of enjoying my time off from Head Start, I have been able to host a dear friend from Arizona on her 2nd ever visit to MN, attend a wonderful neighbor's wedding, plus see all of my family in one place at one time!

(photo courtesy of Paper Lemon Photography)

Since July 7, I have been working hard at CampServe, a new ministry of YouthWorks! that will have run one month long by the end of next week. It's been interesting, to say the least. Being part of a pilot program brought a bit more then I had bargained for, but in the end I will continue to say it was all worth it. My team is incredible, two Ohioans, one Nebraskan(, and me) who are committed to serving these kids we get to work with day in and out, and the best team dynamics I've seen in a long time!

Beyond our incredibly busy schedule I've been setting up my life for the fall. Not only am I going back to school with the added financial help through the TEACH grant (what a blessing!) but my roommates and I signed a lease for a NEW apartment!!! It's a beautiful Victorian upper duplex in our favorite neighborhood with space for 5 bedrooms if we really wanted... For now we have 3 roommates and are on the search for one more... So that's life. Big things lie ahead, after a great summer of resting, relaxing, being challenged, and preparing.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? As an ESL teacher in a low-income elementary or secondary school, maybe in Minnesota, maybe not, but wherever I end up it will be in the hands of God - the best place to be!

minneapolis, you are my favorite.

2010-06-13T12:52:00.009-05:00

Vivs, Me, and Sarah at the Farmer's Market

Being from the eastside of the cities, I never thought I would say this, but... I LOVE Minneapolis!
Here are my top 10 reasons why, in no particular order:

1. Farmer's Markets. Who knew local, delicious, fresh produce was so close by and so stinkin' cheap? Great.

2. City life. Go out on the town, stay in and watch a movie, take a walk in the neighborhood, visit the local restaurant, it's all at your fingertips and super close; and if all you want to do is go to bed, the city stays with you through open windows displaying a cacophony of city sounds.

3. Neighborhood pride. People know Minneapolis. If you're from a certain 'hood (S, NE, N, etc.), you just have to mention the name and you've made immediate best friends! I got someone's information yesterday just because we're practically neighbors.

4. Nonprofit paradise. Want to work with kids? Immigrants? Farmers? Artists? No prob. Just wander down the street and stop by your local do-good, social justice organization, working to help people and change lives in your own neighborhood. Talk about indigenous community development!

5. Community events. Art-A-Whirl, Celebrate NorthEast parade, Pancake breakfast. Who knew so many things are going on all the time? Not me. Until I walked right into them.

6.YouthWorks! It's true, there's a YouthWorks site in the church on my block. Literally, 1 minute from my house. How cool is that - after 2 summers serving in other communities across the US, now I live in a community being served by the very same kids. Sweetness.

7. Church. The building where my church meets is about 6 blocks away. Giving me a chance to think, "Oh, I've got time - it's so close!" and walk over late pretty much every Sunday. Ha.

8. Diversity. Ok, so maybe this has become a cliché term, but I still use it. Diversity is SO important in the way we live our lives so we learn how other people live and realize that - hey - not everybody does it the way I do. This is a good, humbling realization that I believe everyone needs to experience for fear of becoming set in our ways, prideful, or too stubborn. It's good for the soul, really.

9. Living in Community. Living with people who are not a part of your family can be difficult, but after you've worked through all the hard patches (granted, more will probably come up) it dawns on you that your life has become so enriched by these people! Just like learning diversity, the hard stuff refines who God has created you to be allowing for more growth and development then you every thought possible.

10. Surrounded by creative people. Living in the "Arts district" allows for some pretty funny interactions. The people in my community are hippies (currently or were in the 70s) who are now trying to seek out creativity in everyday city life. This year I've seen more dreadlocks, bicycles, and gardens then I have seen in my whole life put together, and I love it! :)

So there you have it. 10 reasons why I'm where I am right now. I hope you have 10 good reasons for you too!

boundaries

2010-05-25T20:55:00.009-05:00

As the thunder rolls outside and the city gets drenched in a refreshing wave of cold rain, I am sitting alone in my fan-infested apartment wondering how I got here. As in, how did I arrive at this point in my life? Back in MN, working at a school with preschoolers, connected to a whole new community, and listening to JLo. (In my defense, my iTunes is on random.)

I realize I'm only 24, but I never really saw myself here. Quite honestly, I had no plans after Guatemala. All I knew a year ago was that I was living the dream I had imagined for so long and now that I've accomplished that, I'm living more day-to-day then ever before. Maybe that's a good thing. Living day-to-day allows for more spontaneity then ever before, especially since I'm single.

Now my question is: how does one go about making more dreams? When you've accomplished what you set out to do, what's the next step? Doesn't one thing lead to another? I don't want to "settle down" yet. I want to savor the opportunities I've been given and seek ways to mature and grow before I have a family and kids to look after. I think it's better that way.

But how does one go about moving forward in God's good provision without spreading oneself too thin? There are so many opportunities to follow, causes to support, people to meet -- but at some point everyone has to face that you can't do it all! That's a hard fact to face. Especially when you just want to do everything at once.

Along the way I've learned a lot through a great book called Boundaries which I would recommend to EVERYONE (there's also books by the same authors focused on other areas of life - marriage, teens, dating, etc.) This book revolutionized my thinking about myself, others, and the world around me. I'm still learning and growing in this, but I would like to end this post with the ten rules of boundaries that through realizing could change your life.

1) The Law of Sowing and Reaping: Someone has to reap the consequences of actions set in motion, don't interrupt the natural progression by bailing others out.

2) The Law of Responsibility: You are responsible for yourself. I am responsible for myself. I can't think for you, I can't behave for you, I can't grow for you - only you can. And vice versa.

3) The Law of Power: You do not have the power to change others, only to change the way you deal with them. Do not allow others to hold power over you by their destructive decisions, instead change the way you react to them and see the difference it makes for your well being (and maybe even theirs).

4) The Law of Respect: We must respect others' boundaries so that they can respect ours. (Easier said than done :) )

5) The Law of Motivation: If you are not motivated by love, you really shouldn't do it. We were called into freedom and this freedom results in love. If you are not giving out of a overflowing heart, then you should take a step back and reevaluate why you are giving in the first place.

6) The Law of Evaluation: Hurt and harm are two different things. Sometimes a little hurt through speaking the truth in love is necessary to grow in the long run.

7) The Law of Proactivity: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you're really going to change, you have to change.

8) The Law of Envy: Envy is a self-perpetuating cycle that leaves you empty and unfulfilled. Instead of lamenting what you don't have, use that time to see how you would like your life to look and go after it. Question yourself instead of envying others.

9) The Law of Activity: Everyone has to take action for him/herself.

10) The Law of Exposure: Someone else can only support you in your boundaries if they are aware of them.

There you have it, friends. The things I've been learning! I hope you too can benefit from them. But of course, only if you pursue them of your own free will. :) And I hope you enjoyed the random photos of life throughout.Thanks for reading.

this photo is for you, mom. if you don't know what it is for, well...

i resort to blogging.

2010-05-11T15:50:00.004-05:00

i've hit the wall. that wall where there's things I could finish at work, but I just don't want to because every job I could undertake would take so much more time to complete then I want to spend here. Plus I'm still at overtime from last week.

So here I am, blogging to all you beautiful people.

Things in my life have been crazy, but normal at the same time. Is that possible?

I learned a few weeks ago that I could take the summer off from my job and after consulting my bank account, YouthWorks!, and my mom (and I tried to call you too, dad, no worries), I decided - why not? And I am officially a summer lay-off.

What does that mean? Well, as of right now it means I get to attend some really great conferences, have one of my best friends from Arizona come and spend a week in the great Midwest, hang out with my Texan AND Iowan family for about a week, reconnect with my best friend who is returning from the Peace Corps in Panama, pour into my English church and Spanish church, potentially spend a month leading 5th 6th and 7th graders in serving the Twin City area, visit my fantastic roommate at her job in Shoreview, visit IPBC for a Christ Hike, visit Fargo? maybe or else Duluth, refresh and prepare for another school year at PICA, and collect unemployment.

Sounds like a full summer to me.

Also, I found this amazing verse the other day as I was reflecting on the march for Immigration Reform that happened on May 1st (which I participated in and thought was amazing!) I believe this sets the scene for why a just perspective on immigration is so essential:

"See, I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," says the LORD Almighty. But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the LORD, as in days gone by, as in former years. "So I will come near to you for judgment. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive aliens of justice, but do not fear me," says the LORD Almighty.

- Malachi 3

If that is not a explicit mention of immigration, I don't know what is.

Weren't we ALL immigrants at one time anyway?

the "i" word... ooooh...

2010-04-13T15:07:00.003-05:00

Day in and day out I see and speak with individuals who are working long hours at restaurants, in janitorial positions, house or hotel cleaning companies, and other similar occupations all in hopes to gain enough money to get their child through school, or at least through today because they are not considered "qualified" to seek better paying jobs or have no access to education.

In the end the system becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy with parents who end up working more and more, making too little on minimum wage and therefore they spend less and less time with their children who become troublemakers because their parents are working to the bone trying to provide for their daily essentials not to mention their futures. In the end, the children drop out of school because they got pregnant because their mom or dad was always gone working and the children were on the receiving end of absent role models.

Now imagine throwing a deportation into the mix of poverty. It happens, and it happens a lot.

Even when it doesn't happen, how does living in constant fear that the government will knock on your door, tear you away from your three kids and loving wife, and throw you back into your country of origin where people are dying everyday because there are no means to live affect your daily sanity? It's a horrible proposition to live like this.

There is hope. Broken systems can be fixed, but first someone has to SAY something about it!

Check this blog out: Sojourners

And then think about signing this: Christians for Comprehensive Immigration Reform

Most of the people reading this don't have to live in this type fear. Show your gratefulness by doing something to help those who don't have a voice. Change is possible, but it has to start somewhere, friends.

Explanation of the Petition of Christians for Comprehensive Immigration Reform:

As a Christian, I believe my faith calls me to view all people, regardless of citizenship status, as made in the "image of God" and deserving of respect; to show compassion for the stranger and love and mercy for my neighbor; and to balance the rule of law with the call to oppose unjust laws and systems when they violate human dignity.

These biblical principles compel me to support immigration reform legislation that is consistent with humanitarian values, supports families, provides a pathway to citizenship for immigrant workers already in the U.S., expands legal avenues for workers to enter the U.S. with their rights and due process fully protected, and examines solutions to address the root causes of migration.

I believe the current U.S. immigration system is broken and reform is necessary. I call on Congress to pass comprehensive immigration reform with the above elements by the end of this year.

the pieces fit together

2010-03-17T23:14:00.004-05:00

Vanessa loving her double dose of ice cream

Emily and I lounging at John's bday celebration

It's 11:15 at night, I should be asleep in bed. My mind is racing. I had a prophetic dream last night. Clarity has been handed to me - the very thing I've been asking God for since this Leap of Faith series at church began. Hallelujah, He is faithful!

I dreamed that I was visiting Guatemala. I remembered everyone, everyone remembered me plus they all had longer hair (weird, right? I figure it was how the passage of time was duly noted). Profe Jose (the third grade teacher) was my guide; it was great. Unlike other dreams I've had about Guatemala, I didn't feel sad or like a part of me was left behind, but rather I felt motivated. Motivated in a way that said, "If you truly want to fulfill these dreams, you gotta go for it! What's all this sitting around for? You know you want to work with Spanish speakers, you know there is a great need for ELL teachers, and it has a great schedule!"

Maybe my brother and his wife were right all along...

I sent in an inquiry at Hamline (a GREAT school for education programs) and am signed up for an informational meeting in the beginning of April. The play is in motion, and thankfully I am not the one in charge. It's refreshing. I knew I was waiting, but I didn't know what for. Nothing like a burst of past/present/and future in your subconcious to get you moving! PTL folks.

PS. I spent an extra 5 very tired minutes on the grammar of this blog just for you Sarah, I hope you relish that and excuse my 'gotta'. :)

a recurring theme...

2010-03-06T20:21:00.005-06:00

hanging with our good pals from the north...

So maybe I blog about this topic a lot, but being a twenty-something in a very transitional stage of life, I feel the constant need to reevaluate my life, future, and goals. With that as a disclaimer, I continue.

Today I was thinking about my job. Here's the thing. I think about my job a lot because honestly it is a very large part of my life right now, not having a spouse or family of my own, plus being new to the "working world" gives me endless opportunities to think about all this great stuff often. I've been frustrated recently because my job seems to cause me a lot of stress thereby causing me to react to life in less then appropriate terms, which I don't like. While I want to be invested in what I am doing day in and day out, I don't want it to change me - especially in the negative sense. So I've been praying and trying to have a new outlook on life, and therefore my job. My outlook is summed up in two words: "Choose Joy!" Cheesy, maybe, but totally applicable.

With this new outlook I was reflecting on whether or not this job was for me truly, and I got to thinking about the process of finding another job and what that would look like and I got very very tired. With that said I thought, "Hmmm. I wonder how long since I've been in one place for this long." Here's what my chart looked like:

Wbury 18 years, Mhead 9 mo, IPBC 3 mo, Mhead 9 mo, IPBC 3 mo, Mhead 9 mo, Wbury 3 mo, Mhead 9 mo, GJ 3 mo, Wbury 5 mo, Guate 5 mo, Logan 2 mo, Wbury 3 mo, and...now... Mpls 6 months!

Looking back at the past 5 years makes me exhausted. No wonder my heart is longing to stay in one place for a while. I WANT to be here, and I mean FULLY here. Not as a commuter, not as a long-distance relationship, but HERE HERE in mind, body and soul.

Then I got to thinking about this place that I'm at now, realizing that I've been taking a lot of things for granted. Just think about it... I moved into (God moved me into) a community I was not 100% fully convinced of, and low and behold a Spanish-speaking church grows out of nowhere right in front of my face! - on the same block as my house! I didn't even have to look for it, it found me first! How cool is that? He's surrounded me with cool, Christ-centered, community focused, grassroots, socially minded and culturally aware roommates that want to do life with me. Plus I'm suddenly in a neighborhood that has a great church that is not only Biblically based but is all about social justice in the name of Jesus! Say wha? How could I be complaining about life when He has blessed me with such a perfectly tuned situation?? On top of everything, I get to work in direct community development, the stuff I've been going on about for years now. I didn't look for any of this, but it perfectly fits how I want my life to be right now, and therefore I truly believe I am exactly where I am supposed to be. How great is that? I think it's pretty great.

So, those are my thoughts today. Where are you at today? Are you where you are supposed to be? How do you know that and how do you daily express that?

chicago's treasures

2010-02-25T21:21:00.005-06:00

getting ready for 3D fireworks!

the "L"

yes, chicago deep dish pizza was eaten. mmmm....

This past weekend we had a reunion of the 32 crew from our West Virginian summer in Chicago. I did not know what to expect but as my life has become highly immobile these days, I was looking forward to the travel to say the least. Looking back upon the weekend, it was such a refreshing, rejuvenating time that I never had expected, a very pleasant surprise. Getting back together with old friends that you haven't talked to in a while is something that normally makes me nervous and uncomfortable, but this weekend held something so much deeper.

Our car ride there was a delicious 7 hours long (after a full day of work, of course) but thankfully everyone was a good sport and not only did we get to stop at Sonic and get a Strawberry Limeade with extra strawberries, but I did no driving on the way there, merely some DJing and navegating. As all of this goodness was going on, however, the conversations began, which is the part that was so surprising. We spent a small amount of time together yet I had (or overheard) some of the deepest, richest conversations I have witnessed in months. It is such a joy to get together with people who care about important issues or tough issues and will not shy away from talking about them and really getting to the heart.

More then that, I was privileged to hear the hearts of many from the 32 crew and see another perspective on things. For example, one of the wisest, most caring and compassionate people I know is stuck in a dead end job that he doesn't enjoy when his real heart is on completely different matters like fighting for kids who are stuck in the sex trafficking trade, but because it takes money to enter law school and it is a time of waiting in his life, he is going to just that - wait. Who does that these days? It's so hard to wait and hear from God when there are 200 perfectly viable options waiting in front of your face.

Or my friend who is set on moving to India to work in the church and community development for the rest of his life, but he is just trying to finish school now. He has big dreams and great promise awaiting him, yet for now, he is at this season in life where he also has to wait and take life a step at a time. One foot in front of the other - first ministering to highschoolers at his hometown church, next moving through college, and finally uprooting to India to put his whole heart and soul in.

Maybe these are just interpretations, but think about it - how often do we truly grab onto a dream and run with it through the end? We're talking about that at church these days - about blocking out all those disruptive voices around us and focusing in on what good things God has in store for us. And praying about those things so that He can come through in faithfulness once again. I'm missing this. Guatemala was a big dream for me, traveling was a goal, but now where am I? I love my city and my life, but is this the big dream God was preparing me for? I don't mean stardom and bright lights, but what about a mission, a focus that is so important that you would give your life? Maybe that's the way to live, maybe not, but I do know that life is so much more easy to live when I'm living it on purpose.

Let's live life on purpose, ok?

ya he regresado

2010-02-06T19:53:00.005-06:00

Kelly and I after getting our hair dun-up by the youth group kids

I'm BACK!

Today as I was sitting in on a meeting of the new Spanish church in my neighborhood, I came to a swift and stunning realization: I'm home!

Let me explain: I hardly said a word in the meeting as I am one of two non-native Spanish speakers and this is only my third week of coming to participate, but as the conversation continued I was (1) asked if I had a boyfriend, (2) teased mercilessly (3) requested to give money (4) asked what my opinion of Latinos in the city was and most importantly, (5) reminded of the close friends and co-workers I met while in Guatemala... and it was at that moment that I felt most at home.

It's true that I have all day everyday in my job to connect with Spanish speaking Latinos, plus on Thursdays I get to teach Spanish at my church followed by the greatest night of Salsa dancing ever, but to be welcomed into such a community as a vital, important, and cherished voice is a definite confirmation of my desire to be involved in just such an endeavor!

Here's the other thing - I left for Guatemala over a year ago now, and have been home for a total of 9 months, but I distinctly remember upon my departure wondering where in the world God would use my love of Spanish in the United States.

God is GOOD! God is FAITHFUL!

Sometimes I feel as if my entire life is in Spanish -- and yet I live in the US! Who would have ever guessed it? PTL.

2010-01-01T17:07:00.002-06:00

Because of the LORD's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:23-24

This is the verse for my new year. I am excited to see where God will bring this year of my life and at this point I am full of hope and expectation, anxiously waiting to see where he comes through and how he will use me.

Some things I am looking forward to:

Becoming better at my job

Taking ballet lessons

Studying typography and maybe more

Soaking up my neighborhood

Attending the new Spanish-speaking service on my street

Growing in community with my housemates

Extending my friendship network

Blessing the populations I work with

Being blessed by the populations I work with

Jessica coming home for good

Getting more plugged in at church

Just to name a few. It's exciting to gaze upon that list and get ready to add even more things... Peace to you in the new year!

what are you trying to say??

2009-12-23T00:10:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I get a chance to sit back and reflect, and today I've decided to reflect that life is funny. No matter where we go, what we do, or how we react, it's easy to forget that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose.

Even when we screw up the relationships God has given us, say the wrong thing, go through an awkward situation, or are just lost in mystery over what something is 'supposed' to look like, He is still good. He is still solid. He is still God.

Let that truth rush over you in a calming wave tonight as you head full force into the Christmas season where the birth of baby Jesus into our homely little world changed EVERYTHING. Homeless, cold, misunderstood, dirty, and outcast, our Savior came to set us free.

And pray for our brothers and sisters who are still seeking without finding answers. Pray that their hearts would be opened to a new understanding of who this spiritual being is who draws us close to Himself, even when we are in complete oblivion. And above all, trust.

an elfish Christmas to you too!

2009-12-21T19:50:00.003-06:00

The first biennial sisterhood reunion is happening next week, and to commemorate I have made this poorly edited hip hop video courtesy of some big brand company that shall remain nameless.

Have a very merry Christmas and I hope you too do an elfish jig to celebrate!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

it snowed this week.

2009-12-04T09:08:00.004-06:00

as I got up on Wednesday, still in a haze, I by chance looked out the window and saw white rooftops from our second floor apartment and shrieked out in surprise, "IT SNOWED!" my roommate, still asleep in her room responded with, "it SNOWED?" Why was I so surprised in December in Minnesota? Not sure why, but it got me thinking about this little weather change that affects our lives so greatly in the northern Midwest.

As I got to work that day, all I heard was complaining. The roads were bad, it was so cold outside, why does it have to snow in Minnesota, etc. But as I went to my first home visit and asked a little girl I was working with what she thought about th

e snow, she responded excitedly with, "it's so fun! My mommy and me went out and threw snowballs!"

Where has our childlike wonder gone? I remember the days when even a few of those chilly white flakes would make me incredibly excited for the days when the streets were covered with snow allowing endless opportunities for snow forts, snowball fights, ice-skating, hot cocoa, and Christmastime with the family.

We've lost our wonder. Nothing phases us anymore, it's just life, and everyone has to deal with it. I think that's sad. Isn't it incredible that once the atmosphere reaches a certain temperature these tiny, individual crystals form that start to pile up to cause our everyday life to change so much? Craziness.

Here's the thing - it's not just snow I'm talking about. We've lost our wonder in a lot of areas of our life. If you actually sit and think about all the things that happen everyday, it's a wonder one thing doesn't happen to throw everything off. Even breathing is incredible. Who knew that there's so much in the air that we have to filter, and we can onl

y take in oxygen, yet we still survive? Or that there would be one person in the whole world we would find who fulfills a majority of our relational needs by just being there for us everyday and loving us?

God has designed us, our lives, our relationships, science, food, air - everything - to fit together SO perfectly. In what areas have you lost your childlike wonder? How can you get it back?

where does the time go?

2009-11-23T15:59:00.003-06:00

hello friends and friends of friends and relatives who i would still call friends,

Nothing too insightful to write today but I figured it was a good time to update y'all (that's for you, Kristy, since I know I'm a northerner who is not 'supposed' to use y'all :)).

I am currently sick. I think it's the stomach flu. I hate being sick, but thankfully I am on the road to recovery. The few things I was very grateful of in this sickness were a) my parents who live super close to me these days and are loving and caring enough to take care of me when I come and whine at their door (and even when I'm not whining). I've missed living this close to them! b) my work is great - even thought I technically have no sick days yet, they let me leave early to rest up for my 12 hour day tomorrow. They're totally understanding which is much appreciated.

If you didn't already hear, I've become a vegetarian. Why, you might ask? What I always say is for 1) health reasons (animal protein is bad for you and such... I could go into detail, but I won't) 2) environmental reasons (a veggie diet is less impactful on the environment) and 3) ethical reasons (it's not that I don't think animals shouldn't be killed, but rather I think the conditions they are raised in are disgusting and I don't want to eat something that's lived through that kind of nastiness). What I don't tell people as often is that it is also cheaper to live on a vegetarian diet, and it's easier to buy local, which I love. My doctor told me that I have to drink milk because of Vitamin D, and I am in pizza love with cheese, so I'm not going to go the Vegan route, but I really think this is a good start in the right direction.

Thanksgiving is coming up! I'm super excited (except for the fact that I can't eat turkey...;)) as we have a relaxed day of festivities planned at my aunt and uncle's house. They are so great, I always love spending the holidays with them because my aunt is what I would like to call a "Martha Stewart" when it comes to holiday planning. They always make everyone feel welcomed and well-fed, in style, too. Following Thanksgiving, I have some interesting events planned. First of all, I'm pseudo-protesting at the Mall of America against Human Trafficking in America. It's an event associated with ITEMP (Institute for Trafficked, Exploited, and Missing Persons) that is closely tied with the group I worked with in Guatemala. We will all be wearing black attire and loose chains around our wrists as we pass out information to line-holders on the biggest shopping day of the year. It's going to be ridiculous (in a good way). After that I will be attending the second annual Lefse-making fiesta that consists of me, my aunt, and my cousin (and son). It's so fun to have family traditions, even if it only started last year :).

What else can I share with you, if you haven't already been bored to tears with this mundane recap of my life? Our fridge stopped working last week. We lost all our food but are going today to buy a new one. My parents and I went down to Iowa to visit the bro + wife and fix their gutter... I met with a new found friend at church who is interested in heading up a Latino outreach ministry with me, we are going to start by teaching basic Spanish this Spring so people can connect with their neighbors ...and I'm meeting with a MCAD representative on Monday to see if I want to pursue a program in Graphic Design next fall! Super excited, let's just hope I have enough money by then...

All right, folks, that's all I've got. I pray you are all well and enjoying where you have been placed by God. Until next time, peace out.

in the city for a reason

2009-11-08T15:13:00.003-06:00

Kel (one of my roommates) and I got to hang out all day yesterday, and I was so pleased to discuss some things with her that have been on my heart for a long long time, without much exposure to the light of day. We took a walk down Central in our neck of the woods and got to see a city ripe with people, conversation, activity, and problems at the same time. We truly are living in the city, and part of the fun is figuring out where that places us.

I moved to the city intentionally. Maybe it's no big deal to you, a white suburban girl at my age wanting to move into an urban area for obvious reasons - more people, easier access, lower rent, etc., etc.; but those were just some of the perks to my moving. The reasons actually go much deeper. I'm reading a great book right now called Restoring At-Risk Communities edited by John Perkins (the founder of CCDA) and the ideas discussed really hit me at the core. I got to thinking, why am I in the city? Is it because it's where I "ended up?" Or is it something more intentional then that? For me, definitely the latter.

I moved to the city to become a part of a more diverse community.
- I have neighbors from all over the world, of every shape, color, and thought. When we, as Christians, reach out to such neighbors we become well-rounded people with a global mindset and a deeper understanding of the human condition. If we are always surrounded by people that look, speak, and think like us, when will we ever be challenged? How will we grow or ask questions? Besides, if everyone always has the same answer, don't you just get bored real easily?

I moved to the city to engage with my neighbors.
- I don't really know how to describe it, but there is a sense of peace in knowing that you have to fully rely on God for your total well-being, and He will take you where He knows you need to go.
For example: Kel and I were talking about our desire to get out and meet our community. Today, while walking home from church, we walked by another church where there were people loading things into a van. We were about to cross the street and walk away from the people when I felt a sense to walk through the busyness and said to Kel, "Let's walk by the church." We did, and through that, one of the people stopped us and we chatted for a good ten minutes about a great ministry that have to the homeless of our neighborhood called Hope Avenue. That is EXACTLY what we have been talking about! Reaching out, meeting neighbors, having a presence in the community. All we have to do is walk where God has called us to walk, literally.

I moved to the city to experience something new.
- In the city we have different problems then in the burbs, such as mice, snow emergencies, personal safety, living with two other people in a tiny upper floor apartment, and those are just the tangible, physical things. I have a lot to learn about living in the city (case in point - $42 parking ticket last week... what? You have to READ those posted signs??) But I am looking forward to it. The world is becoming more urbanized as we speak and it's predicted that by 2050 70% of the world will live in urban areas. I want to be a part of that. There is so much going on in these areas - and so many people who fall through the cracks. How can we, as Christians, work against that happening?

I moved to the city because it is where God has called me.
- God has called me to relocate. What's up with all this talk about reaching out to the poor and orphaned and then failing to DO anything about it? I've heard that if people's bellies are full and their bodies are warm, they are that much more receptive to the Gospel. Obviously. Let's go back to Sociology 101, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. If a person's most basic needs are met(survival) then the next level of needs can be considered (safety, love and belonging, self-esteem, then everything else like pursuing purpose and creativity, etc.) We cannot come at people to fulfill their spiritual needs if we have failed to meet their most basic needs. I'm not quite sure how I fit into that at this point, but I'm receptive to follow God's call wherever that leads.

These are just a few of the thoughts floating around in my head these days. Just the tip of the iceberg, shall we say. God is opening doors and providing opportunities like never before and I am excited to share those with you as they continue to develop. Thanks for reading and I hope you take at least one extra second to ponder some of these things for yourself. God is working in each of us differently, and He calls us each differently to pursue Him in the midst of everyday life. He wants to fulfill our biggest dreams!

over the hump and sailin' on through...

2009-11-01T15:41:00.003-06:00

Life just seems to speed by these days. Now that I'm all moved in, working a great job getting to know all the families we are coming alongside, am done traveling for a while, and officially 24, I'm feeling much more at peace.

Life is good and I am learning more everyday, about living life with other people, being in community, building relationships, and dreaming big dreams.

The series at church these days is about "Big Dreams, Everyday Life." Some very interesting things to think about, but most of all how God uses our everyday lives to create space for the big things He is preparing us to do. He has a great plan, and we are a part of it if we would just sit back and see the big picture. Along with that, we have to trust that God is good and will be faithful, even in the hard times.

Peace to you on this beautiful Autumn Sunday!

posting from the great OHIO

2009-10-25T00:45:00.002-05:00

This will be a shorter post as a result of jam-packed week and late night of reunion, but, my friend Emily and I just finished attending our first CCDA conference - a blessed opportunity that I will treasure for a long time to come. We spent the days (Wednesday-Saturday) being enriched in current thought from very intelligent leaders of the Christian church who have hearts to follow God and serve His people. Don't know much about Christian Community Development? Check out their website: www.ccda.org. The coolest part for me was seeing like-minded individuals who don't lose their firmly founded belief in God in the midst of pursuing social justice. And tonight we got to meet up with long-time friend (long being a very relative term related to our first summer as YW staff) Ran, whose house we are currently crashing at to see the wonderful town of Columbus before flying out tomorrow. But for now I must sleep. Night, y'all.

the start of number 24

2009-10-20T16:08:00.002-05:00

it's true, folks. today I begin my 24th year of life. Not feeling super old yet (although Emily would beg to differ) but definitely feeling very blessed.

I am 24 years old and have a great, fulfilling job, while many of my very qualified friends and acquaintances are still searching and have been for... months.

I am 24 and have a place to live, two places, really if I'm being honest. I'm on great terms with my parents and brothers, who are loving and helpful in every sense of those words, plus I have a great community of friends from all over the world who touch my life in big ways daily.

I'm 24 and have a car and enough money to live on, which says a lot (especially when compared with the precious people I get to work with everyday). I have a warm house to return to, daily, plus enough food in my stomach that I never have to go hungry.

I'm 24 and have had incredible opportunities in my life to travel, meet people, attend educational events (not to mention receiving a 4-yr-degree), and experience life to the full.

I truly am blessed and thank each and everyone of you for being a part of that in some way. I have been blessed by knowing you! God is SO good! Peace to you on this October 20th.

ahhhh... finally settling in

2009-10-10T16:52:00.003-05:00

my mom and i sang at the Michael W Smith concert last weekend

What? Snow on October 10th?

our house, all set up and lookin' pretty.

Hi.

A couple crazy changes have happened in my life since the last blog. First, I started my new job at Head Start - It's incredibly suited to me! I love it. It's such a blessing from God to have a job I enjoy where I work with friendly people, precious children, an extremely diverse population (staff and client-wise), use my Spanish DAILY (what? In America?), and on top of all that, I get paid!!! God is so good. In addition, they are counting my days at the CCDA conference as PAID work days and not resetting my benefits as it's a "work-related" conference about Community Development. When they told me that, I KNEW it was meant to be. PTL.

Second big change - I moved out of my parents house and into a tiny little upper-floor apartment in Minneapolis. SO fun and challenging at the same time. I sometimes forget what it's like to live with other people (it's been over a year since I've had a roommate) so it is a time of growth and development for us all. I am super excited to see where God brings our cute little community within the next year or so. I also am getting plugged into my new church (Mercy Vineyard) and am feeling more refreshed and at peace then I have in a long time. Like I said, God is good.

There you have it. I currently do not have access to the internet in my house, so I am visiting the parents and after a day of shopping with mom am enjoying the advantage of internet. Therefore I must get going. Peace to you all and talk to you someday soon, hopefully!

PS> Guess what happened today in the wild world of weather? It snowed. Yep. A fine layer covering everything. It's a bittersweet welcome to winter just because we haven't fully experienced fall yet. I forgot how cold it gets up in the great MN. Woot.

you're lookin at a new employee!!!

2009-09-30T18:28:00.004-05:00

my beautiful new city

It's true, I've accepted a full-time, long term, decently paid, awesome opportunity to work with Head Start in Minneapolis!!!

My job title is Visiting Advocate and basically what I do is:

meet with families about the development of their kids of ages 0-5 in our program
use my Spanish to communicate with a 50% Latino population
advocate for the families by helping them receive services that Head Start offers
teaching families how to better develop their families through the aforementioned services
go directly to homes in the neighborhood to communicate with those enrolled
interact with the children at their homes
upkeep records and files on each family I am involved with

and i'm probably missing a bunch of stuff because I don't start until Monday... But there you have it. A job that fits me very well and was directly provided by God to address my needs, passions, and give me room to grow! What more can I ask? He is good.

I am super PUMPED and will tell you all about it after 9am on Monday! Peace.

If you're curious to know more about the organization I will be working with, follow this link: Krista's Head Start Home

the tally

2009-09-27T10:00:00.002-05:00

hello friends,
quick update... here's the most recent tally:

1 job rejection
2 interviews completed and waiting on a response
1 interview next week

The odds, I think, are in my favor... but only time will tell.
Thanks for your prayers!

who doesn't love a good interview...?

2009-09-23T09:28:00.001-05:00

one interview today
two interviews on friday
...woot!

please pray for me!

it's official!

2009-09-21T12:31:00.005-05:00

bienvenidos a nuestra casa!

it's official, we have a new apartment!

For a mere $800, my two friends and I have closed the deal with our friendly landlord in the twin cities, and we can begin moving in this week! Of course, for me that all depends on when I get a job, but for now I am just going to share my excitement with y'all about this great new place!

It's an upper level duplex with 2 bedrooms (one which Vivs and I will share, the other for Kel), beautiful wood floors, one bathroom, a large kitchen, dining room and living room, a back enclosed porch, and a great location in the exact part of town we wanted!

Here are some photos:

view into living room and two bedrooms on far end

view of back porch

view into living room from kitchen

Like I said, it is all still pending on when I get a job, but still... EXCITING!

moving forward

2009-09-15T16:49:00.001-05:00

me and momma

howdy folks,
still jobless and searching in the great midwest. I do have some leads on part-time jobs, but we'll see how that good ol' 2-6 hours a week pans out. I'm tempted to take it if nothing else then just to have something to keep me busy outside of the house for a while. The job is teaching Spanish in an afterschool program with St Paul.

this Sunday I went to my potential new church. I say potential because this is the church where my two future roommates attend, and I finally got to go after hearing so much about it and experience it on my own. maybe that doesn't explain why I said potential, but anyway. it's a great church with a lot of younger people focused on community development type stuff, right up my alley. I'm looking into some cool small group stuff too, i'll let you know how it all ends up... the church is located in NE, which is right by my new potential house. (wow, seems like a lot of potentials are cropping up these days).

speaking of... I have three great job prospects that I am still waiting to hear back from. please pray for me! I mostly need some patience, but also a positive job-related phone call would be nice, too. i guess it takes longer then i thought to get a full-time position. eeks.

other then that my life has been consumed by pretty much nothing lately. kinda boring... i have gotten the chance to see some friends around town, always refreshing, lots of time with my new roommates, lots of time with my current housemates (my parents, that is), Spanish lessons every thursday, hip hop lessons starting in october, a let-down on jury duty as it never came to fruition, and ... books. good books, i might add, but getting a little bored as these days i value human interaction more. but hey, that's what you get.

please pray for me in the job search that i would continue to find purpose even when life gets ya down. pray for patience and hope as i may hear from great jobs soon (hopefully positive response). and pray for me as i continue to try and figure out my new role back in MN life... whatever that means.

peace.

so... i think this photo is cute and wanted to add it for kicks and giggles
plus i'm pretty sure the only person who reads my blogs is my brother
(pictured here looking goofy)

reflections on this labor day weekend

2009-09-07T17:45:00.000-05:00

wells friends, still on the hunt for a job but I'm sick of writing about that and I'm sure those of you who read my blog are even sicker of reading about it.

so. As a change of pace I'd like to reflect on some things. I just had a relaxing weekend in Alex with my parents, and it was a joy to be with them. True, I spend the majority of my time with them (living at home and all) and part of me was wondering how the weekend would go as I was already starting to go stir crazy caged in at home job searching endlessly day to day... but my fears were ridiculous I realized as I was truly blessed by the kindness and compassion that my parents display to me.

Most other people my age have been edged out of their parents' homes, forced to take the first job that comes their way and essentially survive on their own out there in the "big big world." For me, that day will surely come, but for now I have been blessed with a comfortable place to lay my head, wonderful people to converse with, good food, and constant encouragement.

One thing that still amazes me is that my parents really want me to get a good job that fits me well, providing financially but also emotionally, rather then using their "parental prodding" to push me (as much as they can) into an unhappy life situation where I am at least financially stable.

well, it looks like I talked about the job search anyway this time. Sorry about that. I will try real hard next time to not even mention it (unless I am gainfully employed at that point, of course :) ).

Peace to you and remember to be content with what you have because our richest blessings are right in front of our eyes!

and the beat goes on... and on... and on...

2009-09-02T16:43:00.000-05:00

the job search continues. it seems all I do these days is eat, sleep, see friends every so often, and job search. that's ok with me. Please keep me in your prayers as I continue to scour the Twin Cities area for a quality career for the entry level quasi-humanitarian. And if you have any good leads with Spanish/culture/English/editing/media/nonprofits/poverty and hunger awareness involved, give me a heads up!

Thanks.

the girls in new york

one step at a time

2009-08-24T13:32:00.000-05:00

ahhh... finally a chance to catch my breath.

I've had the wonderful opportunity of hanging out with the family the past week at Mount Carmel, and now that everybody (save me and my parents) have left, I'm getting a chance to just chill for a bit and reorganize my life from where I left off in January. It's nice.

So. Where do I go from here? You may have read my last entry... a little confused and lost, true, but at the same time trying to gain a bit of perspective on why God has brought me to this place in my life and what I've learned from the past 8 months on the road.

I've decided to start small. Organize my room, get rid of the clutter, look at all of my photos from the past year or so, accomplish necessary tasks (like reporting for jury duty...), and then take on the world in all of it's intimidating-ness.

Today it's my room. Tomorrow it's the necessary tasks around W-town, and then it's on to the job search... WOOT!

the (job? life? general?) hunt is on

2009-08-18T18:16:00.001-05:00

guatemala -- check.
minneapolis -- check.
washington d.c. -- check.
west virginia -- check.
new york city -- check.
mt. carmel -- check.

now what?

i'm coming home real soon...

2009-08-08T07:58:00.000-05:00

Well, friends, the summer has come to an end. It is officially my last day in the community of Logan, WV. It was a good summer but also a hard summer. Tonight we drive to Charleston, WV, and then tomorrow we take the 8-hour-trek to Philadelphia for Exit RAMP. After that my good friend from last summer Emily and I will take a train to NYC and spend a few days with Allie, another good friend, and then on the 13th I will be flying home! The 14th my dad and I are traveling to good ol' Walnut Grove to celebrate the anniversary of Steffen Electric, and then we leave for Mt. Carmel family camp on the 15th. It's going to be a quick few days, but I am definitely looking forward to the things God has in store. Happy trails to you!

mmmhmmmm.

2009-07-16T14:40:00.001-05:00

time to let y'all know what's happening in my life:

- summer is speeding by, we have 3 weeks left of programming! yikes!

- our staff is starting to 'get it'... we are still struggling in some areas but by far we are feeling much more organized and together then we did or first week

- it's been super fun to bond with the two other girls on my staff, it helps that we all sleep in the same room and spend practically every waking moment together

- being a Site Director is harder then i thought it would be, i've never had to manage people before and i tend to be a more introverted leader which leads to some new experiences... God is working through me, but i'm not going to say it's been easy

- i'm tired. the exhustion of a YW summer has finally hit me, not to mention my last 6 months of craziness finally catching up with me

- Adele is my new favorite artist of the month

- my nephew Sage turned 5 this week! i can hardly believe it. he is so precious and now so BIG! i cannot wait to see him and all the texas (and iowa) steffens in august

- logan is slowly growing on me. i have just this week started to go out and get to know the community more, they have been incredibly kind to us

- i have my very first 'real' job interview on tuesday. i'll let y'all know how it goes

- harry potter came out this week and i'm dying to see it, however, i have promised my brutha mateo that i will see it with him and his wife - i am SO excited

- i miss my family, i miss my friends, i talked with my SD friend Avivah last night for an hour and it made me realize just how excited i am to see her and similar friends... it's been too long

- i'm going to NYC after YW! SO excited. my friend Emily and i are going to stop in on the Allie Schauer after exit RAMP. woot woot!

- i bought some spanish for dummies books for my parents. i'm teaching them spanish when i get home and i'm super excited

- the job search has begun, please pray for me!

- i talked to an adult leader who is at Avivah's site this week but was in Grand Junction with me last year... weird.

That's all folks, how are you all doing?

one almost glorious day off

2009-07-04T11:29:00.000-05:00

meet the Logan staff team: Alaina, Mary P, Adam, and Me!

today is my first "official" day off in Logan, West Virginia. it would have been unquestionably glorious if not for the 6:41am wakeup given to the girls' staff room by a friendly little mouse caught in our not-so-friendly little mousetrap. cruel, unkind, say what you will, but we just don't like having mice in our living area, so the trap succeeded for us for the second time this week, and the mouse has been escorted off the premises. unfortunately for us, the mouse was not killed by the gallant rescuer (aka, Adam, our work projects staff who we woke up to take care of this mouse business...) so we will have to wait and see when mouse #3 (who could actually be mouse #2) shows up.

after our rude awakening I went back to sleep and enjoyed it immensely. our week here on site was incredible but exhausting. for me it was only the second week of programming, but thankfully it did not seem to show (much) to our participants and adult leaders. they were kind and patient, as always, giving us their unsolicited suggestions and offering all types of feedback to help us improve and grow as staff. it was a better week for our work projects (in which we do painting around town as well as cleaning and small home repairs) as we had enough stuff to do and had made good contacts the week before to bring us through to a meaningful work week. it was better organized as well because more time had been spent on understanding what we were doing, how we were doing it, and the general consensus of how work projects happens in West Virginia. kids club was a bit more difficult as some of our older kids chose to come back and wreak havoc on the littler chillins' and poor Alaina (our kids club staff) was trying to be in approximately 100 places at once while listening to a plethora of suggestions. it didn't help that the older children at kids club were making death threats towards adult leaders and cautioning that they would go get their guns if necessary. ooof. we're working on that.

besides the craziness that is a YW week, awesome bonds were made with our participants and adult leaders. it was incredible to see how God is working in their lives, and in turn, our lives as well. I got to bond with an adult leader who is traveling to Argentina in 2 weeks to live there for 1 year, we chatted it up about other cultural experiences and how she wants to be a lawyer and work for UNHCR. pretty cool stuff. we as staff were also blessed by the adult leaders who took it upon themselves to support us in any possible way, bringing us homebaked brownies, cookies, and strawberry shortcake, as well as gifting us necklaces; but more then that just being there to talk and share how Christ is working in their lives, therefore making a world of difference for us as we prepare for the 5 weeks left of summer.

God works in such funny ways. it's nice to have a day off to catch my breath, but it's also days like this that take me off guard and make me question, "what am I doing with the rest of my life? when did I leave Guatemala?" or "how did I get to Logan, WV?" needless to say, I am starting the big ol' job search sometime soon. potentially today in the few hours I have before we take off for the "big city" of Charleston, WV, to watch some beautious fireworks and hang with other YW staff.

with that, I wish you a fantastic fourth of july!

the view from my window... welcome to appalachia!

quickie update

2009-06-23T12:50:00.000-05:00

Howdy from Logan, West Virginia! I have officially landed in my site for the rest of the summer. The small appalachian town of Logan, WV, has approximately 1,800 people in the immediate area and is surrounded by beautiful tree-covered rolling hills. I'm excited to be here, a little stressed to be a Site Director but attentive to what God has in store for the 6 more weeks of summer. Pray for me in this new journey/transition as I manage a staff of 3 and get to know this rural community... Bring it on!

I made it!

2009-06-17T22:14:00.000-05:00

That's right, friends, I made it to my site...

WASHINGTON, DC!!!!

True. A very large city with an even bigger personality. Only God knows how long I will be here but for now I am a support staff to an amazing crew consisting of one dynamic Site Director, Ronnie, two fantastic Urban staffers, Christina and Courtney, and one amazing Program staff, Muli (short for his last name). I've only been here one day but I'm already impressed with how well this team works. I am here to support, encourage, and eventually help out in bigger ways, but right now I am satisfied figuring out what that means. If there is a need elsewhere I will be called there, but for now I am content to explore this historical city with some great new Christian friends. Isn't God great?

Now to bed. I'm out.

welcome to my new blog

2009-06-15T21:36:00.000-05:00

bienvenidos!

so, folks, welcome to my new blog. we'll have to see how well this transition works... but the plan is to continue the craziness that was "guatemalteca for a season" into everyday life with me, Krista, back in the good ol' US of A. If you're up for it, read along. If you're bored out of your mind, no worries, you can go ahead and find other more interesting blogs :) as I'm not trying to impress anyone and I certainly know my life will be taking on a much different rhythm now that I'm back to some semblance of normality in my home country. Moreso this blog is for my own sanity. A place to reflect on the everyday experiences that make up my real life that is happening right now in this very moment. I think it's exciting and I invite you to walk with me.

I would like to start this blog with a most recent update. I got home to the US one week ago at midnight and jumped right into Late Start Utility Staff training with these lovely people:

tomorrow I will be stepping on a plane at 2:20pm for a location I cannot yet disclose... but I will keep you posted as soon as I am able!

peace!

ps. bonus points for anyone who can name what song/band my new blog title is from! buena suerte!